She Wants Revenge

Women.

I think it's the way they stink. It stinks so good. I hope we've all experienced the rich aromatic stink of a woman's skin, and the way it is only enhanced the closer we put our faces to their bodies. I find it intoxicating, and I'm sure my manlier friends feel the same way.

Let me just say this: Women of the world, don't ever change the way you smell once you've reeled a man in. We fall in love with you in large part because of this scent. So don't go doing anything stupid now.

You know what's another thing that's fantastic about a woman? Their hair. Now, I'm not talking necessarily about some dykey haircut. I'm talking about full, bouncy hair. The kind that falls off their neck and shoulders, and is dark and rich and full of passion. The kind of hair that you just want to smother your face in and use as your pillow for the night. It's Havana Nights in curlers.

A woman with great hair is already making a man think crazy.

But you know what else makes a man crazy?

A woman that wants to kill.

There are some women out there my friends who are beautiful, charming, and own an extensive gun collection. Do we want these kind of women? It's a very serious question. I would tread carefully, and say yes. You want a woman who can kill. For you see, it's not necessarily about the size of her rack, but rather, the size of her lust for blood.

But why? Why not!

A woman who kills likes steak. Red steak. She wants the beef. She wants to watch football with you. She wants to play Xbox Live with her xXKillFace84Xx gamertag, and craves Gears of War 2 chainsaw battles. She laughed in Bambi. They lust for revenge.

Being honest, they're pretty much perfect women.

Look, some women just want attention. Some women just want to be appreciated. Some women want to be loved.

And some women just want to kill.