Vampires. What's up?

I make my triumphant return unto you, my loyal and faithful readers, with a subject not very dear to my heart, but fun no less. Of course, what I'm going to write about and I'm sure you've already guessed, is Vampires.

What is it about Vampires that illicit cat calls from the the ladies? What is it about Vampires that inspire the highest form of "art" for the masses? My friends. I don't know. Let's explore.

Obviously, we do know this much: Vampires have big dicks. It's really the only way to explain the fact that they have such magnetism from both the fairer and the stronger sex. There's an appeal about big dicks. Probably something to do with pheramones and stuff like that.

Now that the obvious is out of the way, let's explore the mystery. I think it's safe to say vampires are not vegetarians. As we well know, vegetarianism if for pussies. Vampire's are definitely not pussies, even the effete ones. Christopher Lee will curb stomp you for even insinuating that he doesn't eat meat. Vampires are the biker gang of the horror realms of mythology. Bitchin' is a word that comes to mind.

Of course, we have to acknowledge lame Vampires. I'm looking at the Twilight crew and company here, aka worst movie and book ever made my sane people. Let's not let them put a blight on the badassiviness of Vampires.

I think we can all agree though that Vampires bring the romance in a way that guys can dig. For example, placing their mouths on the necks of beautiful woman... and sucking away. I love sucking on a woman's neck, and so do Vampires. It's something we bond over.

In conclusion, I think we all know why Vampires rock the Casbah now. It's because they remind you of tall, dark, handsome, and mysterious beings. Which is what I am of course.

Yes, Clay, I just compared myself to a Vampire. Respect. End of posting.